Full Pelican
A degenerate cast talks about current events make fun of each other and makes light of things most people take seriously. Filthy humor, crap inventions, and sheer stupidity, it's not for the faint of heart or kids.
We are releasing episodes from the season 1 collection. These were recorded from 2021 to 2022 and never previously released. We will release two episodes of season 1 with every season 2 release until they have all been released.
Full Pelican
S2E1 Welcome Back!
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Second-season shenanigans. Getting our bearings after a short hiatus. Yep, we are still awful.
Technical Difficulties and Nipple Trends
Speaker 2it's time for full pelican prepare yourself for some fucking creepiness . What time is it ? I said it was full pelican time . Bitch , fucking , do it . I don't hear your shit . What ?
Speaker 2now I gotta sit on it what did you get that picture I sent you ? I did awesome . I got onto it , awesome . Probably should know . I don't know . Bobo , what's poppin' ? Welcome back to Full Pelican . We got Bobo Back from the dead . Yeah , bobo . Well , I've been back from the dead for a long time . You were the original . What is dead may never die , and I am Christ . There we go . So Youngin needs a name I . I nominate simon , simon , simon all right , simon okay , I'm so gonna forget all it does .
Speaker 2Give us . Give us room for some . Simon says shit down the line , but in my head I was like , yeah , yes , I didn't certainly yeah this is on my diet right totally gluten free you ever done something and immediately regret it ? Fuck you , I haven't done , bobo only one .
Speaker 3Two people have I had to correct myself whoa .
Speaker 2I'm looking around the room suspiciously .
Speaker 3I mean , do we count myself , because there's three .
Speaker 1You don't find it hot . As a motherfucker , I mean , you've been fucking yourself for years now .
Speaker 2New studio , new box .
Speaker 3Holy shit , it was in 70-something .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3I mean it says it's 65 in here and I don't trust that Bullshit . Yeah , it's not so much shit . I'm not laying cranking down .
Speaker 2Don't be scared , Bobbin . Yeah , that'll do it Whoa .
Speaker 1Hey , I found it .
Speaker 2I hope you don't like anything that comes out of me , because you're getting it full of fucking force .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's not the best spot for me .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's like you can't turn the Can you ?
Speaker 3No , you can change the direction of the thing .
Speaker 1Yeah , you can hear the fuck out of that .
Speaker 2Yeah , you can hear the fuck out of that .
Speaker 1That is going more directly into it . No , worse .
Speaker 3New studio who does .
Speaker 2Awful . Okay , I'm so excited to be back . All right , oh shit , we're here in the wind tunnel . Yeah , I'm going to be really cold really quick . Yeah , it works .
Speaker 1Yeah , it does work , I can set it back to auto and then just cut off .
Speaker 3Yeah , and you turn the fan on .
Speaker 2I mean , yeah , we're going to have to work some shit .
Speaker 3You said it's on-on . Yeah , like the fan's going to keep blowing . What ?
Speaker 1happens when it's on auto . Do we know anything about it ? Absolutely nothing , because it says it's 65 in here . What's ?
Speaker 2that . Look at that . It was an off in the middle , you dink Cool . I didn't touch that knob no , the left one the left one , the left one , where it says on and on .
Speaker 3Are we really leaving him to this ?
Speaker 1Quality audio we're on this .
Speaker 2Have some fucking wind noise , here you go . Have some of that . Good lord , have mercy Anyway . I gotta fix my mic , simon's gonna talk and I'm not gonna hear shit from him .
Speaker 3I know that sucks . How does it feel to be the new guy ?
Speaker 1I didn't know there was gonna be a rush . No microphones , a rush .
Speaker 3This has been planned for four weeks yeah , for the four of us .
Speaker 1Yeah , he called me weeks ago and was like we need you .
Speaker 3I love you and you're such a quality podcaster .
Speaker 1I know he didn't say that shit , Because I don't think he considers any of us quality Shit . I'm not quality .
Speaker 3That's kind of the point . This is like the bottom of the fucking barrel . When you're drunk and bored , this is what you're going to listen to .
Speaker 1I feel like I have to apologize after every episode .
Speaker 3I owe everyone an apology , for sure .
Speaker 1Walk out and just start apologizing to people in the street . I'm sorry I did that .
Speaker 3No , you're supposed to change your apologies to thank yous , or at least women are .
Speaker 2What Self-help ?
Speaker 3bullshit .
Speaker 1All right , here we go .
Speaker 3Explain this bullshit , because women always say oh my God , I'm sorry . I women always say oh my God , I'm sorry , I'm late . Oh my God , I'm sorry I'm this . Oh my God , I'm sorry , I'm emotional , but instead I mean you should apologize if you're late . No , you say thank you for waiting for me .
Speaker 2Nah , fuck that .
Speaker 3That way you're not apologizing for your goddamn existence .
Speaker 1Well if you say sorry , then you're starting off the interaction with like oh yeah , sorry .
Speaker 3I did something wrong , whereas if you say thank you for waiting for me , which you deserve , I deserve a thank you for waiting for me , because you should have been ready . How about ?
Speaker 2go fuck yourself . How's that ? How about I'm good ?
Speaker 3on that . I'm so good on that what fucking yourself all of the above .
Speaker 2So what we learned earlier is that oh , Bala , I need you to open your phone . Stop dicking around with your fucking mic , Jesus .
Speaker 3What are you talking about ?
Speaker 2It's always yeah , you're losing your fucking nuts , do you have ?
Speaker 1a set of Allen keys on you , like in your box of tools , I might .
Speaker 3You have a box of tools .
Speaker 2You don't seem like you would have a box of tools . Anyway , continue . Well , you're going to need to look something up , because otherwise it's not going to make sense context-wise . It's what tickled me the fuck right up .
Speaker 3I love when you say something tickles you .
Speaker 2It tickled me internally bro .
Speaker 3It tickles me internally , bro , it tickles me when you say something tickles you .
Speaker 2Wow , that's some like tickle-ception . I think we might have made a mistake .
Speaker 3Oh my God , I'm so much better than Brown .
Speaker 2That's recorded , get that out . I mean , I guess it remains to be seen if she's wrong . That's true , you know .
Speaker 3I've already brought more to the fucking table , so what do you ?
Speaker 1mean Because you're larger than he is , but that's not the point .
Speaker 3That's not goddamn true .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's not true .
Speaker 3I've lost 30 pounds , thank you .
Speaker 2You're saying he's not like real thin ? No oh . You didn't see that picture plus I got TNA , so I'll show you anyway , this is going to be cut anyway so anyway , yeah , so get your shit connected , since we're , you know , waiting for you to figure out technical details been waiting for you all fucking day because that's how that worked , yeah .
Speaker 3I was ready .
Speaker 2I was here at 9 okay , so you know hex or not yeah , anyway , I was here at 9 , okay , so you know , hex or not , yeah anyway let's just fucking have silence now .
Speaker 3Yeah we're just watching you can talk while I connect talk about what we're waiting to finish the topic what are ?
Speaker 2we having to look up ? Well , we're gonna wait till Dinglefuck gets his shit together . Dinglefire , dinglefuck gets his shit together . Dinglefuck Trying to do all this stuff .
Speaker 1Which one's us . I took the picture .
Speaker 2H4NJ . Good lord , have mercy , the one with the best signal , and it's got that fucked up password that I was able to copy from the picture . So thank you , apple , for making it so I can tap on text in a fucking picture .
Speaker 3Oh , we're still anti-Apple , aren't we ? Who you ?
Speaker 2No , why I don't ?
Speaker 3know I felt like you were . Who was ? No , I'm sorry , that was Brown .
Speaker 2Actually he switched yeah he switched ?
Speaker 3Ah , yeah , he did . He switched a long time ago . I know that because I gave him one Sorry it's been three years I've been in a fucking bubble where all I do is breastfeed and change shit diapers , my bad .
Speaker 1Way to bring the podcast down .
Speaker 3Yeah , I'm just saying . I mean it's better now he sleeps in his bed . He's not breastfeeding .
Speaker 1And then your kid too .
Speaker 3Things are all better .
Speaker 2No , that's Working overtime at Crayola the green ones , you guys . I get an employee discount . It tastes like apple .
Speaker 3Oh , okay , I got a top , a quick one , oh no .
Speaker 2Finish your first one . Well , we're waiting on Jingle Fuck as in you .
Speaker 1Well then you go ahead and do you boo-boo .
Speaker 3They make bras that make you look like you have big nipples . Now Kim Kardashian is sponsoring them . Yeah , it's true , yes , my sister , my sister sent it to me and she said your nipples are finally trending . So she told me .
Speaker 2So we've learned something about baba . We are . So I I didn't know that we were . We were working on , uh , rubbing out some pencil etchings , but but I mean , hey , man , yeah , so now they're into that shit , now they're a thing .
Speaker 3I don't . I mean , if you're going to , if you so . These are for the like flat nipple crowd , that because if you wear a shirt with no bra your nipples show typically . But I'm guessing this is for the crowd where that doesn't happen .
Speaker 2And then they have to put on a bra with fake nipples in it . See , I think I can't relate , so I'm asking have tos ?
Speaker 3is a is a is a right . Well , if they want that , look of like hey , my nipples are here right , I mean I .
Speaker 2It's fucking weird . It seems like an unnecessary product .
Speaker 3Right correct , that's , I guess my point .
Speaker 2It's like you know what I want to .
Speaker 1I want people to look at my tits , right , right .
Speaker 2But it's literally like I have a hard time not looking at a nipple that's poking out .
Speaker 3Look , this is the nipple there .
Speaker 2What's going on beneath there ?
Speaker 3It's a lot happening .
Speaker 1It's a lot happening .
Speaker 2It's like a whole nipple bra . It's like a bra with a marble in the front .
Speaker 1It's very strange . Here's a picture of the actual bra .
Speaker 3It's very strange .
Speaker 2It's really distracting , is what it is . I was going to say there's a face there . She said bitch , this is the caption . She said bitch , your big nipples are finally a trend .
Speaker 3That's what she said , but I don't . This is the caption . She said bitch , your big nipples are finally a trend .
Speaker 2That's what she said , yeah , but I don't wear clothes like that .
Speaker 1I don't wear big nipples , fuck it .
Speaker 2I don't know , mine are kind of normal right now , but I don't know when it gets cold .
Speaker 1Everybody gets pokies .
Speaker 2There's nothing wrong with pokies . I don't know that you need to advertise it , and that's my point .
Speaker 3It's like , do people not ? And then they buy that . What can't you sell ? We've sold eyelashes . We've sold asses in pants . Like you can buy an ass now . Now you can buy nipples , it's like .
Speaker 2It's all fucking lies , man . I wouldn't trust anybody . You never know anymore . Wouldn't trust anybody .
Speaker 3Like makeup's a lie . So , Simon , are you dating like would you be attracted to a nipple ? Bra like is that something good . Question because he's young and he's still dating . We're all fucking locked down and miserable .
Speaker 2I'm asking him we're still learning things about Bob .
Speaker 1I don't know if I saw someone with the nipple bra , it's not like it would be .
Speaker 2Start that over , start that whole relay over it sounds much better . Imagine that .
Speaker 3Here you are . Now .
Speaker 1The editors are going to have a pain in the ass going through the different voices on a single channel .
Speaker 3Yay , editors . Good job Howard . I don't work there anymore . If I was out and someone had voices on a single channel , yay editors Good job , Howard .
Speaker 1If I was out and someone had one of the nipple bras .
Speaker 3I don't know how I would . Are you attracted to seeing somebody's nipples before you even take their shirt off ? Is that a thing ?
Speaker 2Can I see ?
Speaker 1your nipples please . I'm from up north , so everybody's always got hard nipples Half the year . My nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds .
Speaker 2Right , but also half the year you're wearing a jacket , so you're not going to know .
Speaker 1Right , oh no you'll know , you'll know .
Discussion on "Pen Pal" Book Plot
Speaker 2So what if you buy a nipple bra and you still have to put on a sweater .
Speaker 3I just don't understand it .
Speaker 2I still think it's a lie because it's like a push-up bra . It's going to imitate perkiness . That may or may not exist .
Speaker 3I guess so , but I just don't . I guess my point is I don't understand why you want to show people through a shirt .
Speaker 1It's the signal you're sending You're always excited .
Speaker 2That's not the only reason to pop out .
Speaker 3It's like a teenage kid getting random wood , it's just a thing . Nobody wants to know that though you wouldn't buy pants that have like a half chub in it .
Speaker 1The fuck you wouldn't .
Speaker 2Yeah but , it's still a lie . It's still a bullshit lie .
Speaker 1I think I would buy pants .
Speaker 2Turn the fuck around .
Speaker 3Are you ready to Google ?
Speaker 1yet To be fair . I think I would buy a pair of pants that had a big ass dick print in them , you know .
Speaker 3All right , so moving on . What are you going to say , chad ?
Speaker 2Fucking Jesus . I'm just watching this . This is Patrick .
Speaker 1He tried to spill it again , fucking God .
Speaker 3So wait ? This is why we can't . Why don't you just help him ? No , no .
Speaker 1He's a sink or swim . He's a sink or swim , clearly not .
Speaker 3I mean , I had someone help me .
Speaker 2Your dad would be so proud .
Speaker 3Of how his little girl turned out .
Speaker 1That's a song , yeah , but yes , I can Google now .
Speaker 3Hey , look at you Longest sober period of my life . That's why .
Speaker 2I didn't bring my shit inside because there's not enough room in this thing for multiple laptops ?
Speaker 1No , not really . We might have to put the other table up here and stretch .
Speaker 2No , we need just two fucking TVs , one computer that displays the mirrors on both , so that anybody can look and see them . Anyway , guys , one back area , one back .
Speaker 3What is he googling ? Why are we making fun of Abbo ? Come on , get it over with .
Speaker 2Oh , we got . I mean shit , I didn't make a full list . Do I need to take a minute ?
Speaker 3You should have prepared . This has been in the books for four weeks I don't know how many times I gotta say that , if you want to fucking make fun of me .
Speaker 2I'm gonna start counting , at least once okay , whatever , don't make fun of me .
Speaker 3Make fun of me , I don't care well , we're not make funny , it's there's questions .
Speaker 2There's questions to be asked . So . So baba was talking a minute ago about how , how she's been reading now and take , take the , take the . Yeah it's being read to her by somebody . So we learned a couple of things . One , fifty Shades of Grey , is what led to Child One .
Speaker 3That was the last book I was able to actually physically read . Picked up an audible habit .
Speaker 2Right Of which she's read a book . Two books , all right . How much is that a month ? 16 bucks , yeah , for three credits .
Speaker 3I'm probably going to cancel on it Anyway , and then yeah , anyway , and then I'll just go back to being dense .
Speaker 1We were so somewhere . Back to it Back to it . Never left Haven't even gotten out of driveway yet .
Speaker 2I think I'll just stay home today . I'm going to work from home Park this right here . Get out of my fucking car , go drink Cheers , god damn .
Speaker 1Next time we record no alcohol but for you and I .
Speaker 2Just to put up with you . Absolutely not I will not be arriving .
Speaker 1Now we know how to do it Good .
Speaker 3She never made it out of the driveway again . You will ask me to come here .
Speaker 2That's not how that happened . So Bobbo was the book that she's read on Audible because it has been read to her . It's a book that has been read to Bobbo on Audible Okay , it's called Pen Pal . So when you search for Pen Pal , make sure you include book and you will immediately see why Bobbo read this book .
Speaker 3It was referred to me , by the way .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm sure no .
Speaker 3I'm serious , I have the text .
Speaker 2So what's the cover you're seeing of that book ? I see like an ocean by JT , something-de-fuck JD JD . Ocean by jt something defuck jd , jd , salinger , geisinger , jt guys . That's the thing .
Speaker 3So , unintentional , plug one , one second so add j jt , you would call me to ask me to come back , so that it's not on record that you asked me to be here jt okay , so yeah , there it is all right , hold on .
Speaker 1Yeah , no , this because it was a whole different oh , look it's , it's cheap .
Speaker 2Of course it is . It's zero dollars on Kindle Unlimited , you can get it for eight bucks . You're logged into , I am pulled up the app , yeah .
Speaker 1So , which means this is in my browsing .
Speaker 2Because I'm meeting the seller Five star rating .
Speaker 1Good job , Miss Danielle . What .
Speaker 2Oh , Danielle . Danielle made the review OK .
Speaker 1Yeah , what ? Oh ? Danielle made the review . Okay , she's selling it so good on you . Free plugs .
Speaker 2JT . So I need you to look at the cover of this book . I'm staring at it Fucking Therastrap , yeah , Like that dude has a fucking 18-pack . It looks like if you type hot guy into AI that's what it spits out . Yeah , I'm pretty sure this is .
Speaker 1AI generated .
Speaker 3And I'm fine with that . There was a lot of actual substance in the book , I swear . Yeah , I was afraid there was .
Speaker 2Were you driving down bumpy roads a lot . While you were reading it , she zerted Deb up . There's so many puddles .
Speaker 1That's what it was . She squirted substance all over the cover .
Speaker 2She almost squirted substance all over the cover . She almost squirted substance all over the fucking table . I'm just remembering no way . So why is it you only read lady porn books ? That's not the only book . I've read Britney Spears memoir lady porn , the woman in me I just want to point out Pin .
Speaker 1Pal has a two star rating , not according to this .
Speaker 2I enjoyed it thoroughly , that's the seller .
Speaker 1That's the book . He's got four stars , I guess . With all of the shirtless that's here he needs a half-punch pair of pants .
Speaker 2He doesn't need it , does he ? No , dude's got an 18-pack . He could be rocking a fucking micro dick . He's not , and somebody should be happy with it , because they're like look at him .
Speaker 3He's a liar . He wasn't , though Not in the book .
Speaker 1The first sentence of the summary is the first letter arrived the day after my husband was buried .
Speaker 2Hell yeah , dude , Dude . Okay , it was really good . Can I give you a synopsis ?
Speaker 3Because it was actually really fucking good I got enough , he's a prisoner .
Speaker 1No , no , no , no , he's a prison pen pal .
Speaker 2We are living up some real fucking , some real life fantasies .
Speaker 3Okay , no , no , no , these are not fantasies for me . It was a fucking book . They are now Somebody referred it to me , whatever the fuck I'm trying to say . Yes , she receives letters , but then she also meets this guy and you don't connect the dots until the very end .
Speaker 2Spoilers , by the way yeah nobody's reading this it's being read to them while they masturbate in the car .
Speaker 3Don't fucking call me out .
Speaker 2I was in the car , oh this is why she was invited back . For the time you'll admit .
Speaker 3I mean hey , hey , hey I was not in the car . I'm gonna get a little crank it up . You know I didn't say that either everybody , just kind of happened . Were you doing ? Laundry when you were no , I was just , I was just at home .
Speaker 1I think I just you know , we're not gonna go there .
Speaker 3um , I'm telling you about the book because you already did we get it , we get it . We're not going to go there . I'm telling you about the book Because you already did we get it .
Speaker 2We're not shaming you for pounding one out , because I mean shit , everybody pounds it out and if you don't , you fucking start .
Speaker 3Okay , so those are rookie numbers , not right now .
Speaker 1No , not right now .
Speaker 3It's really fucking good . She thinks she's being haunted . She thinks she's being haunted . She thinks her husband drowned , and like the whole book you're thinking like that's kind of weird . And she keeps seeing these people and you don't think they're really there . And then she fucks the guy . And then she comes back home and then she gets letters and turns out that the letters are from the guy and she is actually dead too , because what happened is her husband didn't drown , he killed them both .
Speaker 2Spoilers . I told you there were spoilers .
Speaker 3He killed them both and she's dead the whole time and it was like a mind explosion at the end it's a reverse sex scene .
Speaker 2It was really fucking good , but they were dead fucking .
Speaker 3There was lots and lots of sex scenes , but that's not what the book was about . No , no , no , there was lots of them .
Speaker 2Yes , it was you guys . You guys , it's like reading Playboy for the articles . Here's the thing . Here's the thing they're the only pages that aren't stuck , so you have to .
Speaker 3Okay , so I've Do .
Speaker 2I say this I'm not going to say it yes do it , no you .
Speaker 3I've read Fifty Shades . This was the first time I've listened to a fucking smut book and I was like what the fuck is ?
Speaker 2happening . Tell me it had a foley artist in the back .
Speaker 1A what ?
Speaker 3No , absolutely not . No , like a slow clap in the back of the room .
Speaker 2No , so that whole thing about having to rush to get home , that was absolutely Like a bang went out on the ones and twos .
Speaker 1As we get home , smells like shame in here .
Speaker 3I actually asked him first are you going to be home early ? No , okay , cool Okay fuck on one .
Speaker 1Take it away from him . I didn't take shit away .
Speaker 2Didn't know you were going to the seafood market .
Speaker 3Anyway , guys , Brittany's memoir . Oh , we're moving on quickly . Done with this conversation . Do we need to really ?
Speaker 2talk about that anymore . I mean , it's entertaining but I guess , otherwise we're just going to get repetitive .
Speaker 1We don't need . It's a lot for me . Fingers are already starting to smell .
Speaker 2Wow , guys , I don't smell . Well , this just means you're used to it , Anyways so , brittany , that's not a good idea . So Brittany , brittany , bitch , yeah . So Brittany , brittany , poor Brittany , is fucking crazy she
Britney and Justin
Speaker 2is .
Speaker 1Wasn't there a story about a coat hanger ?
Speaker 3yes , yes it's not a coat hanger , but the procedure okay , so what do y'all want to know ?
Speaker 2probably none of it . You brought it up . I figured you were going somewhere with it .
Speaker 3I hate y'all so much .
Speaker 2For God's sake , I have no interest . All I see is you , you , literally told me , save it for the podcast earlier . Well , yeah , do you have something entertaining to say about it ? Entertain me .
Speaker 3Okay , all right , I am Justin's top fan , okay .
Speaker 2Okay .
Speaker 3Yeah , you'd be the bottom but the biggest , I probably would be there for it . I would be there for any of it . Okay , very attracted to justin obsessed . Obsessed is like not even doesn't matter no , that was never even adds to the debonair anyway , guys . Um , probably smells like mahogany . Are we talking about ? Am I talking ?
Speaker 2I don't know . Keep , keep going . That's your podcast , you go .
Speaker 3Let's roll , Justin's number one fan Love him , right . So I go into the book with like the mindset of like fuck you , Brittany , why would you talk about my man like that ? There's no way he was a piece of shit , right ? I come out the book fucking heartbroken for Brittany and like what the fuck Justin like very sad written exactly how she needed it to . She won right , so I don't know . I don't know guys she had a very she had a very hard life . From what she writes and , yes , definitely money no stop money power yeah but she didn't ever own her power .
Speaker 1Yeah , I was going to say the whole conservatorship .
Speaker 2Yeah , the conservatorship was really bad . It was really fucking bad . He made her go to .
Speaker 3AA meetings . She said she never had a problem with drugs . I don't know if we buy that I don't buy it . She said she liked Adderall . She said she was on Prozac from very young , but that doesn't mean you have a problem with them . I've been on fucking whatever Zoloft before .
Speaker 2Yeah , like Prozac , you're not going to take for funsies Adderall . People take unprescribed because people are dumb . I think that she's got some other shit going on because her .
Speaker 3She's black bowler , I think let's be honest right ?
Speaker 1If you say , yeah , I like Adderall , you've probably got a problem with Adderall .
Speaker 3Yeah , no , she definitely abused it before .
Speaker 1That's coming from someone who's prescribed Adderall , I wouldn't say I like it . I say , oh , I take it so I can function right . Yeah , but if I'm like , oh , yeah , I like Adderall , like you probably have a problem with it .
Speaker 2It's probably not Adderall Anyway , and you're getting it from the dude on the corner , so it's probably just some kind of she just had a really rough life y'all , and she did have a smotion . I was thinking the same thing One of those what she had a procedure to remove the fetus .
Speaker 3Yeah , she took pills , so this is according to the yeah , According to the book , she nobody knew about it . Her assistant went and got the pills .
Speaker 1She took them . She can fuck whatever or whoever after the show . What you got to do , what you got to do .
Speaker 3No Groupies , listen , we're talking about potentially Justin's baby , which we don't know if we buy that either .
Speaker 2but I could 100% see it . I mean , I could 100% see it , I could see it .
Speaker 3but her whole thing about saying like oh , justin pressured me into the abortion like bitch . You make your own decisions . You make your own decisions at the end of the day .
Speaker 2No , she the fuck didn't .
Speaker 3That's very true . She never does .
Speaker 2That's true . Why wouldn't Justin bag it up ? Bag what up ? Yeah , condoms .
Speaker 3Why wouldn't he ? You would think he would have enough sense to like oh I'm at the beginning of my goddamn career , I shouldn't be just nutting in hoes . Slap that dick .
Speaker 1I mean no one likes to , so no one does .
Speaker 3What bag it up ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean , I'm two kids later , so right , I mean yeah , so like it's , it's a it's a rough comparison when you've been married for over a decade . Right , right ?
Speaker 1well . So all I know is is if I ever was pregnant , yeah , no , that shit's not saying like you're gonna have a food baby fits right in like if , if I , if I was welcome to the club of degenerates .
Speaker 3Okay , so like no chance . But what do you mean ? But I'm talking about their status obviously I'm a dude .
Speaker 2Oh , at any age if I was a woman and I was pregnant . No , no , no , no , no , no , no no , no , no , no we're going , but now we're going .
Speaker 1I'm not even from no kids . I'm , I'm . I don't know how I feel about that . I feel like I'm too selfish with my time , but I know , if I was a woman no , no fucking way .
Speaker 3OK , but that's not what we're . I mean , it's a little bit of what we're talking about , but we're talking about what we're talking about we're talking about britney and justin , guys , they were a huge deal back then .
Speaker 2Yeah , and okay . Anyway , moving on , when he had the denim yes , the denim suit , she talked about that . Yeah , she talked about that .
Speaker 3So , long story short . Supposedly he pressured her whatever . They got the pills . She went in the bathroom , she took the pills . She was like in pain all day .
Speaker 2He serenaded her like it was a whole fucking thing Okay , According to the book Anyway guys , I have a crazy ex .
Speaker 3Anyway , guys . So she also wrote about the breakup , and he did her wrong there too , and I just feel everybody always does . Allegedly yeah it is a lot of allegedly . And I went to my best friend's house this weekend and she was like , well , she just wrote a book . A lot , so I wouldn't take it seriously .
Speaker 2Well , she wrote . She wrote a book to make money . Brittany needs needs to get some of that conservatorship money back .
Speaker 3She needs to keep her house . The conservatorship was really bad .
Speaker 2Yeah , it was fucked up . It was really bad .
Speaker 3That's a wonky situation , but For 13 years she was controlled every move she made . I know she's really fucking sad .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3Okay , just saying .
Speaker 1It doesn't mean I trust the things you wrote . My point is at the end of the book .
Speaker 3My best friend asked me he is like are you team , justin or team ?
Speaker 2britney now and I was like team apathy , team apathy , I'm kind of team . I'm kind of team britney , because I just feel so fucking bad for her .
Speaker 3She was dealt a really bad hand at every turn . Everyone she trusted fucking took advantage of her .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it's just that's just that world , though everyone in that business does I ?
Speaker 3still fucking love Justin and I actually was just discussing when he goes on tour .
Speaker 2I'm gonna get he's canceling dates , yo , because of your girl Brittany . If and when he goes on tour .
Speaker 3I wanted to buy VIP and I wanted him to sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo that's so fucking weird .
Speaker 2I love him , I sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo . That's so fucking weird . I love you . I know people do that I still find it really strange . We don't want . Yeah Well , I don't know . I've seen some bad ones .
Speaker 1There's a red , yeah , maybe .
Speaker 2There was old as him Fucking , attacking .
Speaker 1Just .
Speaker 3I mean , are you going to say , are you saying , I'm not going to be attacked at some point today Because I'm sure ?
Speaker 1I think that's been flowing pretty well Exactly the whole time .
Speaker 3Exactly . Anyway , guys , all right , I think I'm done for a while . Yeah , I don't know about that ?
Speaker 1No , no , no , keep it , keep it All right .
Speaker 2So what we've learned is that Bobo reads sad girl stories and smart . While drinking wine and finger banging .
Speaker 3I wasn't doing that at the same time . I still had to go get my kids .
Speaker 1So no wine was involved .
Speaker 2No wine was involved . Why ?
Speaker 1is my steering wheel sticky .
Speaker 2You know why .
Speaker 3Guys , I was at home .
Speaker 2But you had to go get it yeah , I took a shower after you got dirty . Huh , that was a good book .
Speaker 1I didn't say that you didn't have to .
Speaker 3I don't know how we always get to here .
Speaker 1You make it here go back , listen to the audio . There's a clear path .
Speaker 3Well , I guess the only fucking girls that ever made money on their fame had to fucking be slutty , so maybe that's where I'm at she's like in the woods , crying but the fact is that she is more famous than her .
Speaker 1Monica no .
Speaker 3Monica has a ran for president . She's in every rap song .
Speaker 1It's true . It rhymes with so much what Monica ? I definitely knew who Monica Lewinsky was before I knew who Hillary Clinton was .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Generational gap there .
Speaker 2Yeah , given that that happened before you were born . Oh , my goodness .
Speaker 3We're in the presence of a baby . You know I've made the 30th .
Speaker 1All I'm hearing is you guys are too old . Like old man yells at clouds .
Speaker 2No , no , I get it . It's weird , given that , yeah a couple of years ago , seven years ago , one of them was running for president , while one of them and then she cried in the woods . That's fucking weird what's crying in the woods .
Speaker 1What's this about Hillary ?
Speaker 3went in the . What do you mean ? That was a whole fucking thing . She like went in the woods . What's this about ? Hillary went in the . What do you , what do you mean ? That was a whole fucking thing . She like went in the woods and cried what after the uh ? Yeah , after she lost to Trump what ?
Speaker 1that's the first time I'm hearing it bring up your Q&A on site , please . I'm curious , I don't know . I'm on my way .
Speaker 2Hillary in the woods crying . She's crying like a witch .
Speaker 1Burn her . Her tampon was too small . That's just where the Hillary in the woods crying . She's crying like a witch . Burn her . That's just where the email server was . That's just where the email server was . She just had to go delete it . It's Halloween .
Speaker 3Hiking . A day after conceding US election , went for a hike with her husband near their New York home , hugging a supporter and exchanging . Yeah , she was in the woods , she like did an interview .
Speaker 2Yeah , she's like she went for a walk in the woods .
Speaker 3Yeah , there's a fucking picture I didn't make it up . Well , that's okay . She was so sad that she lost . She was just so sad .
Speaker 1She should be sad that she robbed Bernie of the chance . Yeah , that's more accurate .
Speaker 3I really don't want to go politics , not when things are the way they are .
Speaker 1But the fact is she didn't flash her tits to become famous . Who did Well ? She's saying every woman did Well .
Speaker 3her fucking husband cheated on her , so maybe she should have flashed some tits .
Speaker 1She just set back womanhood . You know fucking decades .
Speaker 2Oh , come on guys .
Speaker 3I was saying , maybe I bring up sex so that I can be popular .
Speaker 2That's what I was trying to say . You've got to be better at it .
Speaker 1Better at sex , what ? Try yourself . She's great .
Speaker 2I've never complained .
Speaker 3Anyway , guys , yeah , this is why Anyway , guys yeah .
Speaker 1This is why we invite her .
Speaker 2Yeah , like a babo , babo baboing .
Speaker 1Just being myself , you're actually reaching for the fire extinguisher , the force is not with you , Padawan .
Speaker 2You know how that works . Right , you set your cans down and you get your ass up .
Speaker 1That sucks . Do we need to go for a drink ? Run , yeah , okay , well Hit it intern , guys . That's this week's episode of the full fucking Pelican thing . We'll see you next time , guys . Wow , bye , bye , bye .
