Full Pelican
A degenerate cast talks about current events make fun of each other and makes light of things most people take seriously. Filthy humor, crap inventions, and sheer stupidity, it's not for the faint of heart or kids.
We are releasing episodes from the season 1 collection. These were recorded from 2021 to 2022 and never previously released. We will release two episodes of season 1 with every season 2 release until they have all been released.
Full Pelican
S2E1 Welcome Back!
Second-season shenanigans. Getting our bearings after a short hiatus. Yep, we are still awful.
it's time for full pelican prepare yourself for some fucking creepiness. What time is it? I said it was full pelican time. Bitch, fucking, do it. I don't hear your shit. What?
Speaker 2:now I gotta sit on it what did you get that picture I sent you? I did awesome. I got onto it, awesome. Probably should know. I don't know. Bobo, what's poppin'? Welcome back to Full Pelican. We got Bobo Back from the dead. Yeah, bobo. Well, I've been back from the dead for a long time. You were the original. What is dead may never die, and I am Christ. There we go. So Youngin needs a name I. I nominate simon, simon, simon all right, simon okay, I'm so gonna forget all it does.
Speaker 2:Give us. Give us room for some. Simon says shit down the line, but in my head I was like, yeah, yes, I didn't certainly yeah this is on my diet right totally gluten free you ever done something and immediately regret it? Fuck you, I haven't done, bobo only one.
Speaker 3:Two people have I had to correct myself whoa.
Speaker 2:I'm looking around the room suspiciously.
Speaker 3:I mean, do we count myself, because there's three.
Speaker 1:You don't find it hot. As a motherfucker, I mean, you've been fucking yourself for years now.
Speaker 2:New studio, new box.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, it was in 70-something.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean it says it's 65 in here and I don't trust that Bullshit. Yeah, it's not so much shit. I'm not laying cranking down.
Speaker 2:Don't be scared, Bobbin. Yeah, that'll do it Whoa.
Speaker 1:Hey, I found it.
Speaker 2:I hope you don't like anything that comes out of me, because you're getting it full of fucking force.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not the best spot for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like you can't turn the Can you?
Speaker 3:No, you can change the direction of the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can hear the fuck out of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can hear the fuck out of that.
Speaker 1:That is going more directly into it. No, worse.
Speaker 3:New studio who does.
Speaker 2:Awful. Okay, I'm so excited to be back. All right, oh shit, we're here in the wind tunnel. Yeah, I'm going to be really cold really quick. Yeah, it works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does work, I can set it back to auto and then just cut off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you turn the fan on.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, we're going to have to work some shit.
Speaker 3:You said it's on-on. Yeah, like the fan's going to keep blowing. What?
Speaker 1:happens when it's on auto. Do we know anything about it? Absolutely nothing, because it says it's 65 in here. What's?
Speaker 2:that. Look at that. It was an off in the middle, you dink Cool. I didn't touch that knob no, the left one the left one, the left one, where it says on and on.
Speaker 3:Are we really leaving him to this?
Speaker 1:Quality audio we're on this.
Speaker 2:Have some fucking wind noise, here you go. Have some of that. Good lord, have mercy Anyway. I gotta fix my mic, simon's gonna talk and I'm not gonna hear shit from him.
Speaker 3:I know that sucks. How does it feel to be the new guy?
Speaker 1:I didn't know there was gonna be a rush. No microphones, a rush.
Speaker 3:This has been planned for four weeks yeah, for the four of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he called me weeks ago and was like we need you.
Speaker 3:I love you and you're such a quality podcaster.
Speaker 1:I know he didn't say that shit, Because I don't think he considers any of us quality Shit. I'm not quality.
Speaker 3:That's kind of the point. This is like the bottom of the fucking barrel. When you're drunk and bored, this is what you're going to listen to.
Speaker 1:I feel like I have to apologize after every episode.
Speaker 3:I owe everyone an apology, for sure.
Speaker 1:Walk out and just start apologizing to people in the street. I'm sorry I did that.
Speaker 3:No, you're supposed to change your apologies to thank yous, or at least women are.
Speaker 2:What Self-help?
Speaker 3:bullshit.
Speaker 1:All right, here we go.
Speaker 3:Explain this bullshit, because women always say oh my God, I'm sorry. I women always say oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm late. Oh my God, I'm sorry I'm this. Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm emotional, but instead I mean you should apologize if you're late. No, you say thank you for waiting for me.
Speaker 2:Nah, fuck that.
Speaker 3:That way you're not apologizing for your goddamn existence.
Speaker 1:Well if you say sorry, then you're starting off the interaction with like oh yeah, sorry.
Speaker 3:I did something wrong, whereas if you say thank you for waiting for me, which you deserve, I deserve a thank you for waiting for me, because you should have been ready. How about?
Speaker 2:go fuck yourself. How's that? How about I'm good?
Speaker 3:on that. I'm so good on that what fucking yourself all of the above.
Speaker 2:So what we learned earlier is that oh, Bala, I need you to open your phone. Stop dicking around with your fucking mic, Jesus.
Speaker 3:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:It's always yeah, you're losing your fucking nuts, do you have?
Speaker 1:a set of Allen keys on you, like in your box of tools, I might.
Speaker 3:You have a box of tools.
Speaker 2:You don't seem like you would have a box of tools. Anyway, continue. Well, you're going to need to look something up, because otherwise it's not going to make sense context-wise. It's what tickled me the fuck right up.
Speaker 3:I love when you say something tickles you.
Speaker 2:It tickled me internally bro.
Speaker 3:It tickles me internally, bro, it tickles me when you say something tickles you.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's some like tickle-ception. I think we might have made a mistake.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I'm so much better than Brown.
Speaker 2:That's recorded, get that out. I mean, I guess it remains to be seen if she's wrong. That's true, you know.
Speaker 3:I've already brought more to the fucking table, so what do you?
Speaker 1:mean Because you're larger than he is, but that's not the point.
Speaker 3:That's not goddamn true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not true.
Speaker 3:I've lost 30 pounds, thank you.
Speaker 2:You're saying he's not like real thin? No oh. You didn't see that picture plus I got TNA, so I'll show you anyway, this is going to be cut anyway so anyway, yeah, so get your shit connected, since we're, you know, waiting for you to figure out technical details been waiting for you all fucking day because that's how that worked, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was ready.
Speaker 2:I was here at 9 okay, so you know hex or not yeah, anyway, I was here at 9, okay, so you know, hex or not, yeah anyway let's just fucking have silence now.
Speaker 3:Yeah we're just watching you can talk while I connect talk about what we're waiting to finish the topic what are?
Speaker 2:we having to look up? Well, we're gonna wait till Dinglefuck gets his shit together. Dinglefire, dinglefuck gets his shit together. Dinglefuck Trying to do all this stuff.
Speaker 1:Which one's us. I took the picture.
Speaker 2:H4NJ. Good lord, have mercy, the one with the best signal, and it's got that fucked up password that I was able to copy from the picture. So thank you, apple, for making it so I can tap on text in a fucking picture.
Speaker 3:Oh, we're still anti-Apple, aren't we? Who you?
Speaker 2:No, why I don't?
Speaker 3:know I felt like you were. Who was? No, I'm sorry, that was Brown.
Speaker 2:Actually he switched yeah he switched?
Speaker 3:Ah, yeah, he did. He switched a long time ago. I know that because I gave him one Sorry it's been three years I've been in a fucking bubble where all I do is breastfeed and change shit diapers, my bad.
Speaker 1:Way to bring the podcast down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm just saying. I mean it's better now he sleeps in his bed. He's not breastfeeding.
Speaker 1:And then your kid too.
Speaker 3:Things are all better.
Speaker 2:No, that's Working overtime at Crayola the green ones, you guys. I get an employee discount. It tastes like apple.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, I got a top, a quick one, oh no.
Speaker 2:Finish your first one. Well, we're waiting on Jingle Fuck as in you.
Speaker 1:Well then you go ahead and do you boo-boo.
Speaker 3:They make bras that make you look like you have big nipples. Now Kim Kardashian is sponsoring them. Yeah, it's true, yes, my sister, my sister sent it to me and she said your nipples are finally trending. So she told me.
Speaker 2:So we've learned something about baba. We are. So I I didn't know that we were. We were working on, uh, rubbing out some pencil etchings, but but I mean, hey, man, yeah, so now they're into that shit, now they're a thing.
Speaker 3:I don't. I mean, if you're going to, if you so. These are for the like flat nipple crowd, that because if you wear a shirt with no bra your nipples show typically. But I'm guessing this is for the crowd where that doesn't happen.
Speaker 2:And then they have to put on a bra with fake nipples in it. See, I think I can't relate, so I'm asking have tos?
Speaker 3:is a is a is a right. Well, if they want that, look of like hey, my nipples are here right, I mean I.
Speaker 2:It's fucking weird. It seems like an unnecessary product.
Speaker 3:Right correct, that's, I guess my point.
Speaker 2:It's like you know what I want to.
Speaker 1:I want people to look at my tits, right, right.
Speaker 2:But it's literally like I have a hard time not looking at a nipple that's poking out.
Speaker 3:Look, this is the nipple there.
Speaker 2:What's going on beneath there?
Speaker 3:It's a lot happening.
Speaker 1:It's a lot happening.
Speaker 2:It's like a whole nipple bra. It's like a bra with a marble in the front.
Speaker 1:It's very strange. Here's a picture of the actual bra.
Speaker 3:It's very strange.
Speaker 2:It's really distracting, is what it is. I was going to say there's a face there. She said bitch, this is the caption. She said bitch, your big nipples are finally a trend.
Speaker 3:That's what she said, but I don't. This is the caption. She said bitch, your big nipples are finally a trend.
Speaker 2:That's what she said, yeah, but I don't wear clothes like that.
Speaker 1:I don't wear big nipples, fuck it.
Speaker 2:I don't know, mine are kind of normal right now, but I don't know when it gets cold.
Speaker 1:Everybody gets pokies.
Speaker 2:There's nothing wrong with pokies. I don't know that you need to advertise it, and that's my point.
Speaker 3:It's like, do people not? And then they buy that. What can't you sell? We've sold eyelashes. We've sold asses in pants. Like you can buy an ass now. Now you can buy nipples, it's like.
Speaker 2:It's all fucking lies, man. I wouldn't trust anybody. You never know anymore. Wouldn't trust anybody.
Speaker 3:Like makeup's a lie. So, Simon, are you dating like would you be attracted to a nipple? Bra like is that something good. Question because he's young and he's still dating. We're all fucking locked down and miserable.
Speaker 2:I'm asking him we're still learning things about Bob.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I saw someone with the nipple bra, it's not like it would be.
Speaker 2:Start that over, start that whole relay over it sounds much better. Imagine that.
Speaker 3:Here you are. Now.
Speaker 1:The editors are going to have a pain in the ass going through the different voices on a single channel.
Speaker 3:Yay, editors. Good job Howard. I don't work there anymore. If I was out and someone had voices on a single channel, yay editors Good job, Howard.
Speaker 1:If I was out and someone had one of the nipple bras.
Speaker 3:I don't know how I would. Are you attracted to seeing somebody's nipples before you even take their shirt off? Is that a thing?
Speaker 2:Can I see?
Speaker 1:your nipples please. I'm from up north, so everybody's always got hard nipples Half the year. My nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds.
Speaker 2:Right, but also half the year you're wearing a jacket, so you're not going to know.
Speaker 1:Right, oh no you'll know, you'll know.
Speaker 2:So what if you buy a nipple bra and you still have to put on a sweater.
Speaker 3:I just don't understand it.
Speaker 2:I still think it's a lie because it's like a push-up bra. It's going to imitate perkiness. That may or may not exist.
Speaker 3:I guess so, but I just don't. I guess my point is I don't understand why you want to show people through a shirt.
Speaker 1:It's the signal you're sending You're always excited.
Speaker 2:That's not the only reason to pop out.
Speaker 3:It's like a teenage kid getting random wood, it's just a thing. Nobody wants to know that though you wouldn't buy pants that have like a half chub in it.
Speaker 1:The fuck you wouldn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah but, it's still a lie. It's still a bullshit lie.
Speaker 1:I think I would buy pants.
Speaker 2:Turn the fuck around.
Speaker 3:Are you ready to Google?
Speaker 1:yet To be fair. I think I would buy a pair of pants that had a big ass dick print in them, you know.
Speaker 3:All right, so moving on. What are you going to say, chad?
Speaker 2:Fucking Jesus. I'm just watching this. This is Patrick.
Speaker 1:He tried to spill it again, fucking God.
Speaker 3:So wait? This is why we can't. Why don't you just help him? No, no.
Speaker 1:He's a sink or swim. He's a sink or swim, clearly not.
Speaker 3:I mean, I had someone help me.
Speaker 2:Your dad would be so proud.
Speaker 3:Of how his little girl turned out.
Speaker 1:That's a song, yeah, but yes, I can Google now.
Speaker 3:Hey, look at you Longest sober period of my life. That's why.
Speaker 2:I didn't bring my shit inside because there's not enough room in this thing for multiple laptops?
Speaker 1:No, not really. We might have to put the other table up here and stretch.
Speaker 2:No, we need just two fucking TVs, one computer that displays the mirrors on both, so that anybody can look and see them. Anyway, guys, one back area, one back.
Speaker 3:What is he googling? Why are we making fun of Abbo? Come on, get it over with.
Speaker 2:Oh, we got. I mean shit, I didn't make a full list. Do I need to take a minute?
Speaker 3:You should have prepared. This has been in the books for four weeks I don't know how many times I gotta say that, if you want to fucking make fun of me.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna start counting, at least once okay, whatever, don't make fun of me.
Speaker 3:Make fun of me, I don't care well, we're not make funny, it's there's questions.
Speaker 2:There's questions to be asked. So. So baba was talking a minute ago about how, how she's been reading now and take, take the, take the. Yeah it's being read to her by somebody. So we learned a couple of things. One, fifty Shades of Grey, is what led to Child One.
Speaker 3:That was the last book I was able to actually physically read. Picked up an audible habit.
Speaker 2:Right Of which she's read a book. Two books, all right. How much is that a month? 16 bucks, yeah, for three credits.
Speaker 3:I'm probably going to cancel on it Anyway, and then yeah, anyway, and then I'll just go back to being dense.
Speaker 1:We were so somewhere. Back to it Back to it. Never left Haven't even gotten out of driveway yet.
Speaker 2:I think I'll just stay home today. I'm going to work from home Park this right here. Get out of my fucking car, go drink Cheers, god damn.
Speaker 1:Next time we record no alcohol but for you and I.
Speaker 2:Just to put up with you. Absolutely not I will not be arriving.
Speaker 1:Now we know how to do it Good.
Speaker 3:She never made it out of the driveway again. You will ask me to come here.
Speaker 2:That's not how that happened. So Bobbo was the book that she's read on Audible because it has been read to her. It's a book that has been read to Bobbo on Audible Okay, it's called Pen Pal. So when you search for Pen Pal, make sure you include book and you will immediately see why Bobbo read this book.
Speaker 3:It was referred to me, by the way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure no.
Speaker 3:I'm serious, I have the text.
Speaker 2:So what's the cover you're seeing of that book? I see like an ocean by JT, something-de-fuck JD JD. Ocean by jt something defuck jd, jd, salinger, geisinger, jt guys. That's the thing.
Speaker 3:So, unintentional, plug one, one second so add j jt, you would call me to ask me to come back, so that it's not on record that you asked me to be here jt okay, so yeah, there it is all right, hold on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, this because it was a whole different oh, look it's, it's cheap.
Speaker 2:Of course it is. It's zero dollars on Kindle Unlimited, you can get it for eight bucks. You're logged into, I am pulled up the app, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, which means this is in my browsing.
Speaker 2:Because I'm meeting the seller Five star rating.
Speaker 1:Good job, Miss Danielle. What.
Speaker 2:Oh, Danielle. Danielle made the review OK.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what? Oh? Danielle made the review. Okay, she's selling it so good on you. Free plugs.
Speaker 2:JT. So I need you to look at the cover of this book. I'm staring at it Fucking Therastrap, yeah, Like that dude has a fucking 18-pack. It looks like if you type hot guy into AI that's what it spits out. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is.
Speaker 1:AI generated.
Speaker 3:And I'm fine with that. There was a lot of actual substance in the book, I swear. Yeah, I was afraid there was.
Speaker 2:Were you driving down bumpy roads a lot. While you were reading it, she zerted Deb up. There's so many puddles.
Speaker 1:That's what it was. She squirted substance all over the cover.
Speaker 2:She almost squirted substance all over the cover. She almost squirted substance all over the fucking table. I'm just remembering no way. So why is it you only read lady porn books? That's not the only book. I've read Britney Spears memoir lady porn, the woman in me I just want to point out Pin.
Speaker 1:Pal has a two star rating, not according to this.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed it thoroughly, that's the seller.
Speaker 1:That's the book. He's got four stars, I guess. With all of the shirtless that's here he needs a half-punch pair of pants.
Speaker 2:He doesn't need it, does he? No, dude's got an 18-pack. He could be rocking a fucking micro dick. He's not, and somebody should be happy with it, because they're like look at him.
Speaker 3:He's a liar. He wasn't, though Not in the book.
Speaker 1:The first sentence of the summary is the first letter arrived the day after my husband was buried.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, dude, Dude. Okay, it was really good. Can I give you a synopsis?
Speaker 3:Because it was actually really fucking good I got enough, he's a prisoner.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, he's a prison pen pal.
Speaker 2:We are living up some real fucking, some real life fantasies.
Speaker 3:Okay, no, no, no, these are not fantasies for me. It was a fucking book. They are now Somebody referred it to me, whatever the fuck I'm trying to say. Yes, she receives letters, but then she also meets this guy and you don't connect the dots until the very end.
Speaker 2:Spoilers, by the way yeah nobody's reading this it's being read to them while they masturbate in the car.
Speaker 3:Don't fucking call me out.
Speaker 2:I was in the car, oh this is why she was invited back. For the time you'll admit.
Speaker 3:I mean hey, hey, hey I was not in the car. I'm gonna get a little crank it up. You know I didn't say that either everybody, just kind of happened. Were you doing? Laundry when you were no, I was just, I was just at home.
Speaker 1:I think I just you know, we're not gonna go there.
Speaker 3:um, I'm telling you about the book because you already did we get it, we get it. We're not going to go there. I'm telling you about the book Because you already did we get it.
Speaker 2:We're not shaming you for pounding one out, because I mean shit, everybody pounds it out and if you don't, you fucking start.
Speaker 3:Okay, so those are rookie numbers, not right now.
Speaker 1:No, not right now.
Speaker 3:It's really fucking good. She thinks she's being haunted. She thinks she's being haunted. She thinks her husband drowned, and like the whole book you're thinking like that's kind of weird. And she keeps seeing these people and you don't think they're really there. And then she fucks the guy. And then she comes back home and then she gets letters and turns out that the letters are from the guy and she is actually dead too, because what happened is her husband didn't drown, he killed them both.
Speaker 2:Spoilers. I told you there were spoilers.
Speaker 3:He killed them both and she's dead the whole time and it was like a mind explosion at the end it's a reverse sex scene.
Speaker 2:It was really fucking good, but they were dead fucking.
Speaker 3:There was lots and lots of sex scenes, but that's not what the book was about. No, no, no, there was lots of them.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was you guys. You guys, it's like reading Playboy for the articles. Here's the thing. Here's the thing they're the only pages that aren't stuck, so you have to.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I've Do.
Speaker 2:I say this I'm not going to say it yes do it, no you.
Speaker 3:I've read Fifty Shades. This was the first time I've listened to a fucking smut book and I was like what the fuck is?
Speaker 2:happening. Tell me it had a foley artist in the back.
Speaker 1:A what?
Speaker 3:No, absolutely not. No, like a slow clap in the back of the room.
Speaker 2:No, so that whole thing about having to rush to get home, that was absolutely Like a bang went out on the ones and twos.
Speaker 1:As we get home, smells like shame in here.
Speaker 3:I actually asked him first are you going to be home early? No, okay, cool Okay fuck on one.
Speaker 1:Take it away from him. I didn't take shit away.
Speaker 2:Didn't know you were going to the seafood market.
Speaker 3:Anyway, guys, Brittany's memoir. Oh, we're moving on quickly. Done with this conversation. Do we need to really?
Speaker 2:talk about that anymore. I mean, it's entertaining but I guess, otherwise we're just going to get repetitive.
Speaker 1:We don't need. It's a lot for me. Fingers are already starting to smell.
Speaker 2:Wow, guys, I don't smell. Well, this just means you're used to it, Anyways so, brittany, that's not a good idea. So Brittany, brittany, bitch, yeah. So Brittany, brittany, poor Brittany, is fucking crazy she is.
Speaker 1:Wasn't there a story about a coat hanger?
Speaker 3:yes, yes it's not a coat hanger, but the procedure okay, so what do y'all want to know?
Speaker 2:probably none of it. You brought it up. I figured you were going somewhere with it.
Speaker 3:I hate y'all so much.
Speaker 2:For God's sake, I have no interest. All I see is you, you, literally told me, save it for the podcast earlier. Well, yeah, do you have something entertaining to say about it? Entertain me.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, I am Justin's top fan, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you'd be the bottom but the biggest, I probably would be there for it. I would be there for any of it. Okay, very attracted to justin obsessed. Obsessed is like not even doesn't matter no, that was never even adds to the debonair anyway, guys. Um, probably smells like mahogany. Are we talking about? Am I talking?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Keep, keep going. That's your podcast, you go.
Speaker 3:Let's roll, Justin's number one fan Love him, right. So I go into the book with like the mindset of like fuck you, Brittany, why would you talk about my man like that? There's no way he was a piece of shit, right? I come out the book fucking heartbroken for Brittany and like what the fuck Justin like very sad written exactly how she needed it to. She won right, so I don't know. I don't know guys she had a very she had a very hard life. From what she writes and, yes, definitely money no stop money power yeah but she didn't ever own her power.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say the whole conservatorship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the conservatorship was really bad. It was really fucking bad. He made her go to.
Speaker 3:AA meetings. She said she never had a problem with drugs. I don't know if we buy that I don't buy it. She said she liked Adderall. She said she was on Prozac from very young, but that doesn't mean you have a problem with them. I've been on fucking whatever Zoloft before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like Prozac, you're not going to take for funsies Adderall. People take unprescribed because people are dumb. I think that she's got some other shit going on because her.
Speaker 3:She's black bowler, I think let's be honest right?
Speaker 1:If you say, yeah, I like Adderall, you've probably got a problem with Adderall.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, she definitely abused it before.
Speaker 1:That's coming from someone who's prescribed Adderall, I wouldn't say I like it. I say, oh, I take it so I can function right. Yeah, but if I'm like, oh, yeah, I like Adderall, like you probably have a problem with it.
Speaker 2:It's probably not Adderall Anyway, and you're getting it from the dude on the corner, so it's probably just some kind of she just had a really rough life y'all, and she did have a smotion. I was thinking the same thing One of those what she had a procedure to remove the fetus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she took pills, so this is according to the yeah, According to the book, she nobody knew about it. Her assistant went and got the pills.
Speaker 1:She took them. She can fuck whatever or whoever after the show. What you got to do, what you got to do.
Speaker 3:No Groupies, listen, we're talking about potentially Justin's baby, which we don't know if we buy that either.
Speaker 2:but I could 100% see it. I mean, I could 100% see it, I could see it.
Speaker 3:but her whole thing about saying like oh, justin pressured me into the abortion like bitch. You make your own decisions. You make your own decisions at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:No, she the fuck didn't.
Speaker 3:That's very true. She never does.
Speaker 2:That's true. Why wouldn't Justin bag it up? Bag what up? Yeah, condoms.
Speaker 3:Why wouldn't he? You would think he would have enough sense to like oh I'm at the beginning of my goddamn career, I shouldn't be just nutting in hoes. Slap that dick.
Speaker 1:I mean no one likes to, so no one does.
Speaker 3:What bag it up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I'm two kids later, so right, I mean yeah, so like it's, it's a it's a rough comparison when you've been married for over a decade. Right, right?
Speaker 1:well. So all I know is is if I ever was pregnant, yeah, no, that shit's not saying like you're gonna have a food baby fits right in like if, if I, if I was welcome to the club of degenerates.
Speaker 3:Okay, so like no chance. But what do you mean? But I'm talking about their status obviously I'm a dude.
Speaker 2:Oh, at any age if I was a woman and I was pregnant. No, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no we're going, but now we're going.
Speaker 1:I'm not even from no kids. I'm, I'm. I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like I'm too selfish with my time, but I know, if I was a woman no, no fucking way.
Speaker 3:OK, but that's not what we're. I mean, it's a little bit of what we're talking about, but we're talking about what we're talking about we're talking about britney and justin, guys, they were a huge deal back then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and okay. Anyway, moving on, when he had the denim yes, the denim suit, she talked about that. Yeah, she talked about that.
Speaker 3:So, long story short. Supposedly he pressured her whatever. They got the pills. She went in the bathroom, she took the pills. She was like in pain all day.
Speaker 2:He serenaded her like it was a whole fucking thing Okay, According to the book Anyway guys, I have a crazy ex.
Speaker 3:Anyway, guys. So she also wrote about the breakup, and he did her wrong there too, and I just feel everybody always does. Allegedly yeah it is a lot of allegedly. And I went to my best friend's house this weekend and she was like, well, she just wrote a book. A lot, so I wouldn't take it seriously.
Speaker 2:Well, she wrote. She wrote a book to make money. Brittany needs needs to get some of that conservatorship money back.
Speaker 3:She needs to keep her house. The conservatorship was really bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was fucked up. It was really bad.
Speaker 3:That's a wonky situation, but For 13 years she was controlled every move she made. I know she's really fucking sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, just saying.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean I trust the things you wrote. My point is at the end of the book.
Speaker 3:My best friend asked me he is like are you team, justin or team?
Speaker 2:britney now and I was like team apathy, team apathy, I'm kind of team. I'm kind of team britney, because I just feel so fucking bad for her.
Speaker 3:She was dealt a really bad hand at every turn. Everyone she trusted fucking took advantage of her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's just that's just that world, though everyone in that business does I?
Speaker 3:still fucking love Justin and I actually was just discussing when he goes on tour.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna get he's canceling dates, yo, because of your girl Brittany. If and when he goes on tour.
Speaker 3:I wanted to buy VIP and I wanted him to sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo that's so fucking weird.
Speaker 2:I love him, I sign my arm and I wanted to get a tattoo. That's so fucking weird. I love you. I know people do that I still find it really strange. We don't want. Yeah Well, I don't know. I've seen some bad ones.
Speaker 1:There's a red, yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2:There was old as him Fucking, attacking.
Speaker 1:Just.
Speaker 3:I mean, are you going to say, are you saying, I'm not going to be attacked at some point today Because I'm sure?
Speaker 1:I think that's been flowing pretty well Exactly the whole time.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Anyway, guys, all right, I think I'm done for a while. Yeah, I don't know about that?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, keep it, keep it All right.
Speaker 2:So what we've learned is that Bobo reads sad girl stories and smart. While drinking wine and finger banging.
Speaker 3:I wasn't doing that at the same time. I still had to go get my kids.
Speaker 1:So no wine was involved.
Speaker 2:No wine was involved. Why?
Speaker 1:is my steering wheel sticky.
Speaker 2:You know why.
Speaker 3:Guys, I was at home.
Speaker 2:But you had to go get it yeah, I took a shower after you got dirty. Huh, that was a good book.
Speaker 1:I didn't say that you didn't have to.
Speaker 3:I don't know how we always get to here.
Speaker 1:You make it here go back, listen to the audio. There's a clear path.
Speaker 3:Well, I guess the only fucking girls that ever made money on their fame had to fucking be slutty, so maybe that's where I'm at she's like in the woods, crying but the fact is that she is more famous than her.
Speaker 1:Monica no.
Speaker 3:Monica has a ran for president. She's in every rap song.
Speaker 1:It's true. It rhymes with so much what Monica? I definitely knew who Monica Lewinsky was before I knew who Hillary Clinton was.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Generational gap there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, given that that happened before you were born. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3:We're in the presence of a baby. You know I've made the 30th.
Speaker 1:All I'm hearing is you guys are too old. Like old man yells at clouds.
Speaker 2:No, no, I get it. It's weird, given that, yeah a couple of years ago, seven years ago, one of them was running for president, while one of them and then she cried in the woods. That's fucking weird what's crying in the woods.
Speaker 1:What's this about Hillary?
Speaker 3:went in the. What do you mean? That was a whole fucking thing. She like went in the woods. What's this about? Hillary went in the. What do you, what do you mean? That was a whole fucking thing. She like went in the woods and cried what after the uh? Yeah, after she lost to Trump what?
Speaker 1:that's the first time I'm hearing it bring up your Q&A on site, please. I'm curious, I don't know. I'm on my way.
Speaker 2:Hillary in the woods crying. She's crying like a witch.
Speaker 1:Burn her. Her tampon was too small. That's just where the Hillary in the woods crying. She's crying like a witch. Burn her. That's just where the email server was. That's just where the email server was. She just had to go delete it. It's Halloween.
Speaker 3:Hiking. A day after conceding US election, went for a hike with her husband near their New York home, hugging a supporter and exchanging. Yeah, she was in the woods, she like did an interview.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's like she went for a walk in the woods.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a fucking picture I didn't make it up. Well, that's okay. She was so sad that she lost. She was just so sad.
Speaker 1:She should be sad that she robbed Bernie of the chance. Yeah, that's more accurate.
Speaker 3:I really don't want to go politics, not when things are the way they are.
Speaker 1:But the fact is she didn't flash her tits to become famous. Who did Well? She's saying every woman did Well.
Speaker 3:her fucking husband cheated on her, so maybe she should have flashed some tits.
Speaker 1:She just set back womanhood. You know fucking decades.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on guys.
Speaker 3:I was saying, maybe I bring up sex so that I can be popular.
Speaker 2:That's what I was trying to say. You've got to be better at it.
Speaker 1:Better at sex, what? Try yourself. She's great.
Speaker 2:I've never complained.
Speaker 3:Anyway, guys, yeah, this is why Anyway, guys yeah.
Speaker 1:This is why we invite her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a babo, babo baboing.
Speaker 1:Just being myself, you're actually reaching for the fire extinguisher, the force is not with you, Padawan.
Speaker 2:You know how that works. Right, you set your cans down and you get your ass up.
Speaker 1:That sucks. Do we need to go for a drink? Run, yeah, okay, well Hit it intern, guys. That's this week's episode of the full fucking Pelican thing. We'll see you next time, guys. Wow, bye, bye, bye.
